Goals for the New Year?

When I was a kid, I always looked forward to New Year’s Resolutions. Setting goals for myself back then was so simple, like joining a new club or eating less chocolate. And aside from the latter [eat less chocolate? Ha, yeah right!], they would be accomplished relatively quickly because of their simplicity. I even used to write my list down and cross them out with a red marker as I fulfilled them. I took them seriously, even if it was something like play more with the toys I hadn’t touched in a while.

As I got older, setting resolutions became more of a nuisance. I could never think of a single thing to add to my list at the start of the year, but halfway through the year I would have a whole mental checklist of things [and not enough time to do them]. Or I would start the year off with the motivation and it would quickly die before summer even started. So, I gave up on making resolutions.

When I got sick, I started making resolutions again. But my resolutions at first were more like necessities. Get out of bed, move around a little bit, go outside, stay hydrated…things that most people just do naturally without a second thought. But for me, these things were and still are hard sometimes. It takes whatever sheer will I have to accomplish these things on those hard days. Meanwhile, my loved ones are trying to encourage me to do even more. I want to do more, but it’s not a matter of “should” or “want” anymore. It’s a matter of “can” or “can’t”.

So, over time, I decided to simplify my resolutions. Things that were meaningful, necessary, and realistic, but didn’t have any strict deadlines. So, for this upcoming year, these are my goals:

Continue Removing Toxic Relationships

Even if I didn’t have a chronic illness, I wouldn’t stand for toxicity. But with one, it’s especially paramount to avoid toxic people and their behavior. I feel that if a person is hurting you so badly that it is impacting your mental or physical health, they are not worth it regardless of the relationship. I made the decision this year to cut all ties to my husband’s immediate family. All you need to know are three things: 1) it wasn’t an easy choice to make [I spent a long time thinking about it before I made the decision], 2) my choice is only applicable to me and not my husband [he is his own person who makes his own choices, and he supports mine], and 3) I would rather adjust my life to their absence than adjust myself to accommodate their disrespect [and in doing so, a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and allowed me to separate from the negative emotions I felt]. So, I think it’s important for me to continue this goal. And maybe it will be good for some of you.

Do Activities That Make Me Happy and Help Me Unwind

This may seem like a no brainer for most of you, but for me, it’s not. Of course, I do some activities that make me happy, like gaming and watching movies. But I often forgo those activities in lieu of things that need to get done. When it’s a time period that is busy, like leading up to the charity stream and the holiday season, I don’t allocate enough time for myself to relax and unwind, even if my pain is through the roof. Some of you may be thinking that’s life for you and you just have to deal with it. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself more time to de-stress and relax, to focus on yourself and what your mind and body need regardless of how busy life gets. I believe this should be on everyone’s resolution list.

Continue Pacing Myself with Home Redecorating [and In General]

Because of my chronic illness, I don’t get out of my apartment as much as I would like to or used to. Since I have to spend a lot of time in this space, I should be happy with it. That’s why I have been gradually adding things such as string lights, artwork, and candles to give the place a softer touch while still being unique to my interests. I want to continue doing so while making the space more organized. But this requires a lot of time and energy, the latter of which I don’t always have. And that’s okay. Pacing myself is more important than rushing or doing things at the same speed as everyone else. If I have to put off tasks because I am too fatigued, in too much pain, or too depressed, I must allow myself the time to rest and not beat myself up for doing so. And if I am able to do one or more tasks, I should be proud of myself. Celebrate even the little victories!

What are your New Year’s Resolutions, if any? Leave them in the comments!